


Lies in the Pathways

by starofjems



Series: Learning to Fly [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Fire Nation Propaganda, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV Zuko (Avatar), Self-Esteem Issues, Worldbuilding, Zuko Takes Himself on a Life-Changing Field Trip, chakras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25280506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starofjems/pseuds/starofjems
Summary: "A few paces away, poised to charge and hold him at sword-point, Zuko froze as the man shifted. He moved a hand behind him, leaned on it as he twisted around to look directly at Zuko with a bright smile."That was a dangerous climb, young one. I would have waited for you to take the less perilous path." "In the Eastern Air Temple, Zuko continues his search for the Avatar.
Series: Learning to Fly [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791460
Comments: 95
Kudos: 596





	1. Shores

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to best beta jana <3

After witnessing the insane architecture of the Western Air Stronghold, the Eastern Stronghold was underwhelming. So what if it was built on sheer mountaintops, hidden amongst equally towering mountains? Airbenders built the Western Stronghold suspended _upside down_ in a _canyon_. The only impressive thing about this Stronghold was how difficult it was to find.   
  
Zuko's legs ached after countless days of hiking up and down mountains in hopes of stumbling upon the Stronghold or at least catching a glimpse of it in the distance. Searching for the Western Stronghold had not been nearly as infuriating. Granted, Zuko had been half out of his mind with exhaustion and pain, so that likely affected his opinion.   
  
Since Zuko's memory of the first search was faulty, he also had no frame of reference for the crew's behavior. Nonetheless, Zuko was fairly certain Uncle had led the expedition last time and there hadn't been much direction given to the search. It was pure luck that Zuko found the Western Stronghold as quickly as he had.   
  
This time, Major Hifumi organized groups and deployed each with a daily search radius. Commander Genkei was an idiot to focus so much on Major Hifumi's lack of naval experience. Zuko couldn't have asked for a better acting captain to assist in his hunt for the Avatar. Major Hifumi was brilliant, and without her direction, Zuko could have spent countless more infuriating _weeks_ climbing these mountains.  
  
Unfortunately, no amount of quality leadership could spare Zuko from camping. The shore closest to the stronghold was still half a day away. Traveling that distance multiple times was simply illogical. So after several exhausting days of hiking and climbing, Zuko now had to attempt sleeping on the hard ground with Uncle's deafening snores a foot away.  
  
The spring winds were biting this high up. Even with a pile of blankets and Uncle's warmth beside him, Zuko was still chilled. He had thought winter on the Western Air Island had been frigid, but he clearly knew nothing of cold. Zuko dreaded the day his search brought him near the poles.   
  
Other than discomfort assaulting his senses, Zuko's mind refused to let him rest as well. He could not stop thinking about his egg, which he'd left on the ship that morning. Everyone on the Sazanami knew not to go into his room without him. The egg was infinitely safer in his room than on this cold mountaintop, but Zuko still worried.  
  
When it had started dimming and losing its heat, Zuko had feared he'd managed to kill whatever was inside before it hatched. (It was a dragon, it was totally a dragon; Zuko didn't want to get his hopes up.) He threw himself into getting comfortable with firebending again, enough that he could conjure fire around his egg. Even without Princess Akari's gentle flame, the egg thankfully went back to its glowing, warm state.  
  
It had taken weeks for the egg to start going cold though, so Zuko knew it would be fine for the week of camping he and Uncle had packed for. Zuko made sure to wrap the egg in flames as long as he could before he fell asleep the night before. His egg would be fine. If only his thoughts would listen to logic.  
  
Morning came and Zuko had hardly slept at all. But with morning rose the sun, which meant Uncle could not stop him from beginning his investigation. He certainly tried to slow Zuko down with breakfast and tea, but Zuko's restless night had killed his appetite completely. Sun hat secure on his head, Zuko set out.  
  
"I'll follow you once Major Hifumi's messenger hawk checks in. Please don't venture too far, Prince Zuko!" Uncle called after him.   
  
Uncle had no reason to worry. Unimpressive as it may be, the Eastern Stronghold was still massive. A week was not enough time to thoroughly comb through every inch of the place, but Zuko doubted there would be any more hidden rooms dedicated to Fire Nation royalty. There was no way Zuko would be venturing past this first mountaintop before Uncle could catch up.  
  
Yet again, there was an abundance of meditative statues and a distinct lack of signs of a militaristic society. At least there were traces of battle in this stronghold. Scorch marks marred walls, floors, and even ceilings. Air did not leave behind ashes, but complete destruction. There were far too many holes and toppled walls over the sheer drop of the cliff for them not to be a result of an airbender attack. The idea of fighting airbenders on their home ground was terrifying to imagine.  
  
Zuko stood at the edge of a room, looking out the gaping hole above a courtyard. Maybe the courtyard could have been used as sparring grounds, if not for the dumb statue sitting in the middle of it. These people and their statues! Zuko groaned and would have turned away if not for the movement that caught his eye. He paused, then laughed at himself. It was just a bird finding a nice perch on the statue-  
  
The statue raised its arm to pet the bird on its shoulder.  
  
That wasn't a statue!  
  
Heart racing, Zuko frantically weighed his options. There was a chance this person would be gone by the time Zuko figured out how to get to the courtyard through the stronghold. Unless... Uncle would be so angry, but what Uncle didn't know wouldn't upset him.  
  
The aged side of the building had enough irregularities that scaling it down was laughably easy. Whenever he came to a broken wall, Zuko paused long enough to rest his arms and ensure the not-statue was still there. The person had yet to move since they'd pet the bird.  
  
Once Zuko was on the ground, it was a clear shot to the courtyard. He drew his swords and stalked forward. If this was an airbender—or the Avatar! This could be the Avatar! Already! No, don't get hopes stupidly up, Zuko—then Zuko needed every advantage a surprise attack could grant him. Just one strong gust of wind could send Zuko flying off the mountain. Would he be able to see such a strike coming? Spirits, airbenders were scary.  
  
As Zuko crept closer, he determined that not only was the not-statue a man, but an ancient man at that. From behind, Zuko saw the deep wrinkles creased into his skin. He was bald, but Zuko could not make out any of the arrows that adorned all the airbender statues. Were those arrows somehow natural on airbenders, or were they tattoos?  
  
A few paces away, poised to charge and hold him at sword-point, Zuko froze as the man shifted. He moved a hand behind him, leaned on it as he twisted around to look directly at Zuko with a bright smile.   
  
"That was a dangerous climb, young one. I would have waited for you to take the less perilous path," the man said as he turned his back to Zuko once more. "But now that you are here, please take a seat. You are quite troubled for one so youthful."  
  
Blood rushed past Zuko's good ear, deafening him to the tranquil quiet of the courtyard. The man had seen Zuko climbing down? The building was so far away, there was no way he could have heard Zuko's descent.   
  
"Who are you? Are you an airbender?" Zuko demanded, carefully approaching closer with a tight grip on his swords. "Are you _the Avatar_?"  
  
"I am Guru Pathik, a bender of no kind, let alone all four. However, it seems the spirits have brought us together in our parallel paths toward the Avatar."  
  
"You're searching for the Avatar, too?!" Zuko rounded Pathik, a single sword outstretched in his direction. "You can't have them. I _need_ the Avatar."  
  
Pathik remained unfazed in the face of Zuko's threat. "Not to worry, young one, your search is your own. I am merely waiting for the day the Avatar needs me."  
  
"Why would the Avatar need _you_?" Zuko asked, slowly lowering his swords to his side. Pathik's observational skills may have caught Zuko off guard, but he seemed to pose no threat as a combatant. The man was practically skin and bones. "What good is a nonbender to the master of all elements?"  
  
"Master of all elements, yes, but that does not grant immediate mastery of oneself. When the Avatar finds the need for spiritual guidance, I will be here to teach them."  
  
Zuko furrowed his brow. Pathik's explanation sounded exactly like the kind of nonsense Uncle might spout. While Zuko rarely understood Uncle's nonsense, he did consider himself well versed in finding relevant unspoken information hidden in the blathering.   
  
"You sound really certain about waiting for someone who's been missing for a century," Zuko said, annoyed that Pathik didn't startle or look antsy under his accusation. If anything, the man mirrored Zuko's own scrutiny, as if Zuko was the mysterious one.  
  
Pathik stroked his beard, expression much the same as Uncle's 'I'm testing you, and interested in how you'll respond' smile. "Time is but an illusion created by our earthly attachments. The spirits care not of our measurements of years, but rest assured they have not abandoned us. They granted me a vision of helping the Avatar, and so I await to fulfill the duty the spirits set out for me."  
  
Had Zuko's luck finally turned around? Just a few months into his search, and he already found a clear path home? It was too good to be true. Zuko could not get his hopes up. He always got his hopes up and barely escaped their crushing weight when they fell. Deep breaths, he couldn't give away how important this was to him. Showing how much he cared was always a surefire way for someone—generally Azula—to use it against him.  
  
Zuko sheathed his swords as he sat across from Pathik, even if more than anything he wanted to move, release the tension thrumming through his body. "Did your vision show you when the Avatar was coming? Was it the Air Avatar? How-" He cut himself off and folded his hands in his lap. A barrage of questions did not qualify as being subtle about his excitement.  
  
"Ah, if only the glimpses of our destiny the spirits grant us provided such clear answers."   
  
"So... You don't know when the Avatar is going to show up?" Zuko frowned. "How long ago did you have that vision?"  
  
Pathik raised his head to squint at the mid-morning sun. He hummed and fixed Zuko with a placating smile. "I've seen many seasons pass as I sit at my vigil."  
  
"And you're just going to keep sitting around here in these ruins doing nothing? Sit here and hope your vision wasn't just a convincing dream and that the Avatar will happen to search you out?" Zuko jumped to his feet, fists clenched at his side. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! You can keep lazing about, but I'm going to find the Avatar. See if your waiting is worth it then!"  
  
Pathik didn't even give Zuko the satisfaction of reacting to his outburst. He continued to smile and waved to Zuko as he stomped off. Infuriating, batty old man. Zuko should have known better than to entertain a conversation with someone he found living in a _ruin_.   
  
At least some good came out of that farce of an interaction. Zuko was skeptical about spirit visions and the like, but his own fleeting dreams had led him to his egg. If Pathik was so certain the Avatar would return, well, it made Zuko's quest seem all the more achievable.   
  


  
  
  
Zuko had every intention of erasing Pathik from memory. The stronghold was so large, it was feasible to believe Zuko could avoid the man during the rest of his search. But then every intention in the world meant nothing in the face of one important factor Zuko forgot to consider: Uncle.  
  
When Zuko took a break for lunch on the second day at the Eastern Stronghold, he discovered not one old man, but _two_ waiting for him and drinking tea. Zuko considered turning around and skipping out on his meal entirely. Pathik turned toward him with no warning and a disarming smile before he could flee, which prompted Uncle to notice him as well.  
  
"Nephew! Why didn't you mention we have company on these high mountains?"  
  
No chance of gracefully escaping now. Zuko sighed and joined the men at the fire. "I was planning on _ignoring_ our company, Uncle."  
  
Uncle laughed as he dished out a bowl of noodles for him. Despite being kept in the dark, Uncle didn't seem too put off about Pathik's surprise existence. In all honesty, Zuko hadn't intended to not tell Uncle... He had just forgotten about the encounter with Pathik when he joined up with Uncle later that day.  
  
"Guru Pathik said you didn't linger long before you ran off to continue your investigations, but perhaps you have thought of questions you'd like to ask him over our meal?"  
  
"Why would I have questions for him? He's waiting for the Avatar and doesn't know anything about them!" Zuko shoved enough noodles in his mouth that his cheeks bulged. He refused to entertain this conversation any more than he already had. The game plan was to eat quickly, then escape before he got roped into philosophical prattle.   
  
Such a plan was easily disrupted by Uncle's disappointed expression. Great, what had Zuko done now?  
  
"Nephew... Guru Pathik may not be able to help pinpoint the Avatar, but I was under the impression you were aiming to learn as much as possible about the airbenders to aid your search."  
  
That didn't even make sense. What could Pathik possibly tell Zuko that the stronghold ruins couldn't? The airbenders had been gone for as long as the Avatar! No one could possibly- Zuko nearly choked as he roughly swallowed his mouthful and turned to Pathik with a wide eye.   
  
"How old are you?!"  
  
Pathik granted him a benign smile as he set his tea down and placed his hands palm up on his folded legs. "More than a century, these days, but less than two."  
  
There were no noodles for Zuko to choke on now, but his own breath did its best to catch with his sharp inhale. How could anyone live for that long? He put down his bowl to lean toward Pathik. "Are you _sure_ you're not the Avatar?"  
  
"I assure you, my longevity is due to my spiritual practices, not a connection to the World Spirit," Pathik said with a delighted laugh. He must have seen the doubt in Zuko's eye, because he was quick to support his claim. "I was alive during Avatar Roku's days. It is simply impossible for me to be his reincarnate, wouldn't you agree?"  
  
Well, it wasn't new information, just enough to quell the last of Zuko's suspicions. As nice as it would have been to complete his quest so soon, this would have been too easy. How was Father supposed to be convinced Zuko had learned his lesson if he returned so quickly?  
  
"Fine, but you were alive when the Air Army was active, right?" There were hardly any scrolls or records here or in the Western Stronghold, and Zuko needed to get answers somewhere. He picked up his lunch again, too hungry to be polite and wait for their conversation to come to a close because hopefully, it would take a while. "What do you know about the airbenders?"  
  
"I studied with the Air Nomads during my journey of spiritual enlightenment. In fact, I befriended a young monk with the most unique sense of humor! One particular story comes to mind-"  
  
Useless, absolutely useless. Zuko didn't know why he was expecting anything helpful to come out of this ancient man. While Uncle provided an engaged audience, Zuko only half-listened as he finished his meal. Clearly the Air Army managed to delude Guru Pathik with lies of peace and spiritualism. Zuko wasn't going to get anything like battle tactics out of him.  
  
As Zuko continued to search (in vain, he feared) for useful information on airbenders, Pathik continued to appear during lunch breaks. While he would never admit it, Zuko was embarrassed with himself for not having noticed the first day that Pathik only shared tea with them. He had some strange concoction to accompany his tea and showed no interest in the actual food before him.   
  
Even as Zuko did not want to admit to his lack of observation skills, he was too curious to not ask about Pathik's fast. They had enough food to spare Pathik a meal or two. After all, the cook had packed more than a week's worth of rations in their camping gear.  
  
"Ah, child, the depth of your compassion when riding the storm of your turmoil is admirable. Were you to insist on your gift, I could be so humble to accept your graciousness." Pathik raised his bowl of unknown concoction. "However I am well sustained upon this mountain and need not take from your limited supplies."  
  
It was an infuriatingly roundabout way of saying Pathik was content with his weird mush, but Zuko thought he grasped the underlying reasons. Pathik was really dedicated to his spiritual beliefs. The Air Army's ability to deceive was truly terrifying to imagine if they managed to fool a man like Pathik.   
  
As the week was coming to a close, Zuko had little to show for his efforts. From Pathik's lunchtime stories, Zuko ascertained that airbenders had been largely oral historians. It was the perfect way to keep sensitive information away from enemies, which meant Zuko was unlikely to uncover a hidden stash of scrolls to help his quest.   
  
Uncle kept prompting Zuko to question Pathik about the airbenders, and finally Zuko thought of something that might get him useful, unbiased information. Once their meal was finished, Zuko lingered with his tea rather than running off to dig deeper through the stronghold's ruins.   
  
"Guru Pathik, do you know any stories of the previous Air Avatar?"  
  
If either of the older men thought it was strange for Zuko to ask Pathik for a story, neither reacted as such. Pathik merely stroked his beard with his benign smile.   
  
"Avatar Yangchen was arguably the most influential Avatar of recent recorded history. So stable was the peace she established, that it lasted through the entire cycle of her successor. Even during Avatar Kyoshi's cycle, citizens of the Earth Kingdom would pray to Avatar Yangchen for guidance." Pathik swept an arm out toward the stronghold. "Naturally, Avatar Yangchen's influence was strongest amongst Air Nomad culture and teachings."  
  
Everything Pathik said lined up with the bit of knowledge Uncle had shared at the Western Stronghold. Zuko had shut the conversation down before, but now he knew about the hidden memorial for Princess Akari. Hopefully, Uncle would not question Zuko's change of heart.  
  
"What about her bending masters? Like Princess Akari and- Do you know any tales about them?"  
  
Pathik nodded. "Avatar Yangchen deeply cared for her companions, and they played a large role in establishing and maintaining her peace. As you are aware, Master Akari was a princess of the Fire Nation. No less politically powerful was Master Huizhong, whose family had the confidence of the Earth King. And finally, the Northern Water Tribe Chief's children, Master Tarkik and the warrior Siniq were the ones tasked in maintaining Avatar Yangchen's legacy after she passed to the Spirit World."  
  
From a young age, Zuko had been taught that airbenders were dangerous. Not only in their bending, but in their politics as well. To hear of the political might of a single airbender, Avatar or not, was chilling.   
  
"How did Yangchen secure such high profile teachers? Surely they all had better things to do, like support their nations, instead of running around with the Avatar!"  
  
"Is that not what they were doing by establishing a time of peace with Avatar Yangchen?" Pathik's calm smile put Zuko on edge. "I am unsure of how all her teachers came together, but I believe it may have been in part Master Akari and Avatar Yangchen's childhood friendship. There was little doubt as to who would be the Avatar's firebending master, so perhaps the other nations hoped to provide just as much influence with their own masters."  
  
It was sound logic, and for once wasn't wrapped up in circular reasoning, but Zuko could not believe what he was hearing. Childhood friends? How was that possible? Why in the world would a _crown princess_ have been consorting with some no-name airbender, because that's surely what Yangchen had been before she was discovered as the Avatar.  
  
In response to that line of questioning, Pathik laughed. "It seems unfeasible in today's world, but we have not always been so divided by our nations. Although, Master Akari's spirit dreams certainly played a role in bringing the young girls together."  
  
Spirit dreams?! Zuko was so glad he waited till they finished eating to broach this topic. He surely would have choked on his food at such a revelation. As it was, he struggled to appear unaffected. Uncle was still there, drinking his tea and listening with interest. It wasn't that Zuko did not trust Uncle, but... he had no idea how Uncle would react to Zuko's egg. He did not want to take the risk.  
  
"I don't get how some dreams would make a crown princess cross paths with an airbender, especially if they were just kids."  
  
"Not some dreams, young man, but spirit dreams. I am unsure of the spirits' intentions for Master Akari. The stories say the young princess appeared at the Western Air Temple requesting assistance to search the island for a lost heritage. It was Avatar Yangchen who stepped forward to help. While they never found what Master Akari was searching for, there is no doubt the spirits were content in the bond they created."  
  
Princess Akari may have never found it, but Yangchen had. She discovered Princess Akari's destiny and protected it until someone could fulfill it. More than anything, Zuko wanted to ask more about spirit dreams and the girls' search, but Uncle looked much too intrigued by the current line of discussion. Zuko pushed his curiosities down until there was one safe enough to explore.  
  
"If Princess Akari and the Avatar were such good friends, why did the Avatar let her die?"  
  
Pathik's smile dropped as he shook his head with a small sigh. "The loss of Master Akari and Master Huizhong was Avatar Yangchen's deepest regret. As the tale goes, a faction against the Avatar's peace launched an attack while Avatar Yangchen was in the Spirit World. While there, the Avatar's body is but an empty vessel for the Avatar's soul to return to."  
  
Zuko really did not like where this story was going. It was so much easier to hate Yangchen for betraying Princess Akari. When Zuko found the memorial, he decided that perhaps Yangchen made a grave decision which she regretted. His teachers said the Avatar betrayed Princess Akari. That was not where this story was headed.  
  
"Standing guard over Avatar Yangchen's defenseless body were Master Huizhong and Master Akari. They fought with all their might to protect their friend, but were greatly outnumbered. When Avatar Yangchen returned from the Spirit World, she was able to subdue the rest of her attackers. She was too late to spare her companions from the fatal wounds they sustained in defending her."  
  
Had they been outnumbered, or had it been the sun going out that granted Princess Akari's opponents victory against her? The effects of a solar eclipse on firebenders was one of the Fire Nation's most tightly guarded secrets. Zuko's tutors stressed that the knowledge was restricted within the court, to prevent any chance of firebenders' greatest weakness getting out. Either Avatar Yangchen did not know Princess Akari lost the ability to bend while defending her, or she did know and kept it a secret from her own people...  
  
Zuko's head hurt. He learned what he needed to, an Air Avatar was all too adept at amassing strong allies. The truth of Princess Akari's demise would not help him in his own quest. It wasn't as if _Zuko_ had to worry about the dangers of being the Avatar's companion. Even if Pathik had more stories to tell about Avatar Yangchen and her group, Zuko didn't want to hear them.   
  
"Thank you for sharing your knowledge, Guru Pathik," Zuko said as he stood with a bow. "I've dallied enough. I need to return to my exploration of the stronghold."  
  
With one more expression of gratitude to Uncle for the meal, Zuko left the comfort of the campfire. The sharp mountain winds cut deep into his bones as he walked. His chest felt too tight. Why couldn't anything be as simple as Zuko had been taught?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall enjoyed the yangchen lore :D me@me writer faster so you can share more about yangchen!
> 
> anyways! decided to break this part into two chapters, bc oh boy howdy is the second half heavy... (and i still gotta completely finish it ha...) so that'll be up next wednesday!!
> 
> hmu on tumblr @redriot or twitter @starofjems to chat about atla or this fic anytime~!
> 
> thanks for reading see yall next week !


	2. Currents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> manager: hey so need you to stay late to cover [sick coworker]  
> me, internally: but wednesday is my final edits and posting daaaaayyyyy
> 
> but bless best beta ever jana bc final edits are way easier after shes gone through it at lightning speeds ;3

After a week of camping, Zuko foolishly thought he would grow accustomed to sleeping on the cold, hard ground. The last night trying to fall asleep was no better than the first. If anything, Zuko felt more anxious at the prospect of returning to the ship. What if he had missed something important in this massive Air Stronghold? What if something had happened to his egg while he was away? What if Guru Pathik was the strongest lead on his secondary quest...

Uncle was fast asleep, and very little would wake him. Whenever Zuko left their tent to walk off excess energy, Uncle never so much as stirred. It was a stupid idea to consider, but consider Zuko did all the same. The chances of finding Guru Pathik in the dead of night were slim to none. Sneaking out to an Air Stronghold had worked out in Zuko's favor last time though, maybe he would get lucky again. One thing was for sure, Zuko was not going to get any sleep even if he stayed in his bedroll.

Zuko stepped out, determined to hunt down Pathik, and found the man seated only some paces away. It took all of Zuko's willpower not to scream in his surprise. Moonlight illuminated Pathik's amused smile and genial wave.

"I sensed you wished to talk further with me," he said, much too loud for Zuko's comfort.

With a quick glance to make sure the noise had not roused Uncle, Zuko closed the tent behind him and gestured for Pathik to follow. He led them inside the nearest building to stave off the chilled winds. Zuko sat with a heavy sigh. His thoughts were still half-formed, he had been planning on using the time searching for the guru to think about what to ask.

Pathik, thankfully, was content waiting for Zuko to gather himself. He gracefully sank to the ground and pulled his legs into his usual meditative pose. When Zuko spoke up, Pathik merely opened his eyes to indicate he was listening.

"How do you know if you're having spirit dreams?"

"An interesting question you present. Some speculate all dreams are touched by the spirits in some fashion. When does a dream verge into the realm of visions? Sometimes we do not know until we see the spirits' intentions manifest outside of our sleep. Have you been part of such an experience?"

Zuko didn't want to tell anyone about his egg. It was his. But there was also that quiet voice which sounded much too like Azula, whispering that Zuko was deluding himself into thinking he found a mystical dragon egg. If someone other than the Azula voice in his head said the same... Zuko was a coward and wanted to hold on to this one hope for as long as he could.

"I don't really remember what my dreams are about, but at the Western Air Stronghold I felt... Compelled, I guess? Or maybe, confident I would find something. And I did. But I don't know what it all really means."

Surprisingly, Pathik did not ask Zuko to explain himself better. The guru only stroked his beard and regarded Zuko with raised brows.

"Understanding the spirits is a lifelong pursuit. It is made only more difficult to interpret the spirit's intentions when one has not yet understood one's self. That is another journey that could last a lifetime."

Zuko recalled similar words in his first exchange with Pathik. He crossed his arms with a narrowed eye. "That's what you're going to do when the Avatar shows up, right? Provide spiritual guidance so they can master themself without it taking a lifetime? Is it just something someone like you and the Avatar can do? I'm not really all that spiritual, but I want to know if the spirits are pushing me toward something or if it's all in my head!"

"Often, if you believe the spirits are in play, they are."

It did seem rather silly to doubt the involvement of spirits when Zuko had found Yangchen's hidden memorial room. The chances of him being lucky were way lower than the chances of spirits mucking about.

"Fine, so they probably are. But I don't know what they want! Will I be able to remember my dreams if I master myself? _Can_ I master myself?"

Pathik clapped his hands together. "Why, of course you can! Anyone willing to look inward can begin the journey to mastery. There are many paths one can take on this journey. The path I provide guidance on is understanding one's self through one's chakra. What do you know of chakra, young man?"

A spark of excitement shot through Zuko's spine. He knew about chakra! Maybe this whole mastery of himself wouldn't be as difficult as Pathik made it out to be.

"I have- had a friend that blocks chi. She taught me about chi pathways and the chakra points where chi flows from. There's seven that run vertically along our bodies. In fact, I think she mentioned something about her teachers undoing the effects of chi-blocking because they had complete control of their chakra and chi-flow." Zuko trailed off as heat filled his cheek. Just what he needed, to scare off Pathik with his over-enthusiastic answers. "But, what does that have to do with mastering myself?"

If anything, Pathik appeared delighted by Zuko's rambling. His smile was luminous even in the dark room.

"Your friend taught you about the physical aspects of chi and chakra. Her teachers had control over their chi-flow, likely because they underwent the spiritual journey of their chakra and reached a deep understanding of themselves. Each of the seven chakra can become clogged with emotional turmoil. A master of one's self can look inward to clear away the blockage and control their chakra. In doing so, one is free from the clouds of their emotions and can better understand the spirits."

"Okay, so teach me how to do that, to unclog emotional turmoil. I mean-" Zuko lowered himself in a respectful bow. "I would be honored if you would teach me. Please."

Pathik returned Zuko's bow. "I am honored to accept any student willing to learn. Would you consider extending your stay here in the Eastern Air Temple?"

Wait, what?! Zuko sat up and recoiled in his confusion. "Why would I do that? Can't you just teach me tonight? I'm not a very quick study, but I work hard and I'm sure I can get the basics down!"

"Young man, as I said, the journey of understanding yourself can take a lifetime. Even with my guidance, it will take time and effort to clear the paths between your chakra." Pathik leaned forward to draw seven large, open circles in the dirt. Between each circle, he drew a smaller circle blocking the openings. The interfering circle before the fifth circle was so wide it blended into the fourth. "From our first meetings, I could sense the deep turmoil in your soul. Your sound chakra is so entrenched in lies that the emotional debris will reclog any of the lower chakra we open. Only through accepting many difficult truths will you be able to truly clear the first four chakra, and then work past your fifth."

"I can accept any truths you throw at me!" Zuko yelled, slamming his fist on the ground. "I can do it now. I have to! All this spiritual nonsense can't come before my primary quest. I need to continue my search for the Avatar!"

Pathik frowned in an Uncle patented 'I think you're making a mistake, but will learn through it' expression. Or maybe Zuko was drawing too many parallels between the two elderly men and was misreading Pathik's disapproval of his outburst. That was more likely. The guru, however, did not dismiss Zuko. Instead, he sighed heavily and rose to his feet.

"Very well. Let us relocate, and then we can begin exploring your chakra."

They found themselves seated in a courtyard Zuko had not uncovered in his investigation. A small creek traveled around the paved ground and trickled off the side of the mountain. Pathik lit a fire in the pit in the center of the circular courtyard. It helped chase away some of the night's chill, but the cutting wind would not let Zuko forget the temperature.

"First is the earth chakra, found at the base of your spine. This is the very foundation on which your soul stands. When open, it grounds your spirit and provides the confidence to survive and overcome challenges. It is our fears that uproot our stability and block us from the earth chakra. Now, close your eyes and picture what it is that frightens you."

Zuko followed Pathik's instructions, but with great hesitation. Think about what frightened him? For a coward like him, there were too many things to think about. Sometimes Zuko felt like he lived in a constant state of fear.

"Think about what you fear the most. Face it. Let it go to flow down the creek."

A wall of fire erupted in Zuko's mind. A shadowed figure sat behind it, so far away and yet Zuko's breath still caught in his throat. No longer far away, the man reached out to stroke Zuko's cheek. Panic clawed at his chest, desperate to escape and scream as fire filled the outstretched hand. Zuko was petrified of Father- no. Not of Father. It wasn't right for the thing he feared most to be his father.

Zuko took a deep breath and pushed the panic down. The root of the problem was Zuko's failure. Father wouldn't have had to be so harsh or punishing if Zuko had been able to overcome his endless failings. There were so many failures for Zuko to fear—failing his father again, failing to become a proficient firebender, failing in his quest to find the Avatar, failing Princess Akari and the destiny Avatar Yangchen entrusted to him.

Yes, Zuko feared failing, but he had a lot of practice persevering through his fear and his failure. While Zuko may never stop being a disappointment, the least he could do was not let fear drive him to even more shortcomings. Even if he failed, Zuko refused to give up.

"Did I do it?" Zuko asked, breath heavy and sweat beaded on his temple. His scar tingled with phantom pains.

Pathik hummed and held his palm toward Zuko. "You have faced a fear, for there is a small flow of energy out of your earth chakra. I would not advise carrying on until you fully open it."

"No! I have to keep going!"

"Very well." Pathik sighed, but fortunately didn't deny him. "Next is the water chakra, found just below your naval. Through this chakra we understand the pleasures of the world and it assists us in connecting to other people. Only by facing what makes us feel guilty and forgiving ourselves can we open the water chakra."

What did Zuko feel guilty about? A turtleduck pond formed in his mind's eye. Zuko threw a loaf of bread at a turtleduckling, gleefully laughing when it disappeared underneath the water's surface. Mother's horrified voice made his stomach drop and heart stutter. He had felt so guilty about hurting his favorite animals that day... There were always small, passing guilts, but that had been one of the earliest memories Zuko could pinpoint as understanding his guilt. He never tried to emulate Azula's treatment of other creatures or people after that day-

Azula.

The pond faded away to an ornate, red room. Zuko sat on the floor, cradling a grinning blue mask. Tears stained his cheeks as guilt clenched at his chest. It was his fault. Somehow, someway, it was his fault Mother was gone. It wasn't fair.

A hand wrenched the mask out of Zuko's grasp. Azula stared at it in disdain. "Stop crying about her already, Zuzu! It's for the best Mother is gone. She was just holding you back and making you weaker."

The tightness in his chest burned. Was it his fault? There was someone else involved with the events of that night, and Zuko had not yet considered what would have happened if Azula hadn't lied...

Zuko jumped up to snatch the theatre mask back from Azula. "What right do you have to say that? It's your fault she's gone! If you hadn't done what you always do and spouted nonsense lies, Mother wouldn't have heard you and did whatever she did because you were lying about Father killing me!"

For the first time in Zuko's life, he managed to impart a shred of the hurt Azula always doled out on him back on her. Tears—genuine tears—welled in Azula's wide, shocked eyes. She swallowed her upset and furrowed her brows with a sneer.

"Well, I'd rather have her gone than for Father to have killed you!" Azula yelled, then ran out of the room, leaving Zuko alone.

Alone in his regret. Alone in his sorrow. Alone in his guilt.

What kind of older brother was he, to push the blame from himself to his little sister in the hope it would lessen his own pain? The weight of hurting Azula left Zuko short of breath. Even when Zuko had apologized and tried to make up for his hurtful words, he never had forgiven himself.

And now... Now Zuko had abandoned his little sister. How could he possibly forgive himself for leaving her alone without anyone to support her and remind her that she was still loved even when she made mistakes? Azula was so hard on herself. Father was strict with both of them, but it always helped when Zuko was there to receive the proper amount of criticism. It seemed so unfair how Father could impart the same level of critique for Azula he would Zuko. Zuko deserved it! Azula didn't. Who would shield her now?

"It's important to recognize some things are out of our control," Guru Pathik's voice said, cutting through Zuko's spiraling thoughts. The man frowned at Zuko, brows furrowed. "As it is important not to shoulder the blame of others as our own. Forgive yourself for your own mistakes, young one. And do not take the burden of others' faults."

Zuko wasn't sure whose faults he was supposedly shouldering, but he could accept there was nothing he could do now but move forward. He would forgive himself for abandoning Azula by working harder to return. With a deep breath, Zuko nodded and pushed his guilt away.

"What's the next one?"

Pathik sighed again and hesitated, but did not suggest they stop after Zuko glared with every bit of conviction he could muster.

"Next is the fire chakra-"

"Oh, I know where that one is! Uncle says the stomach is the sea of chi for firebenders!"

A small smile broke through Pathik's weariness. "Indeed, young one. As a source of fire, so is this chakra a source of willpower. When our fire chakra is open, we are full of confidence and self-worth. Thoughts of shame and self-doubt block us from this sea of chi."

"Shame, huh? Well I sure do know a lot about that." Zuko's stomach twisted. He tried to make light of his dread and gestured to his scar with a forced laugh. Pathik dropped the smile Zuko earned with his knowledge of the fire chakra. Fair enough, Zuko didn't find it funny either. "So, uh, how can I overcome my shame without finding the Avatar? That's the only way to restore my honor."

"You must face your shame, and accept it does not define you." Pathik placed his palms on the ground, as if to push himself up. "I believe we've gone as far as we can. I fear the disruption of your sound chakra is too great to safely continue-"

Zuko squeezed his eye shut and shook his head. "No, _no_! I can do this. Of all the chakra, I shouldn't be stopped by the fire one!"

Shame. What did Zuko not have to be ashamed about? There were so many things to examine, it could take all night. Zuko didn't have that kind of time because of his shame. Perhaps his weaknesses were the source of all his shame, and thus what he should face.

Smarting knuckles and eyes burning with unshed tears. Too weak to take a simple punishment, too slow to avoid the punishment to begin with. Father's scornful stare as Zuko struggled through a basic firebending form Azula had mastered much younger than he was. Always weaker than Azula, shameful for an heir.

Zuko stood in the Agni Kai arena. He fell to his knees and begged mercy of his father. His tears were pathetic, so dishonorable, so shameful. It was only right Father made sure no one could ever forget Zuko's ignoble display, that it would be obvious to any who met him that Zuko had shamed himself.

But this could not define him if Zuko wanted to overcome this chakra. What would be more pathetic? To give up here or to let go of the shame his weakness wrought him? Zuko would never give up. Even if he did not have his honor, Zuko still had his willpower. No matter how people viewed him, or how foolish his quest seemed, Zuko was not a quitter.

So what if he was drowning in shame? The way Zuko struggled to regain his sword skills had in no way been something worthy of pride, but he had reached his end goal all the same. Zuko's fear of fire was inexcusable for a firebender, but again he was not going to rest till he overcame it. No matter what his shame tried to throw at him, Zuko would not let himself buckle under the weight. He could persevere.

Zuko snapped his eye open with a triumphant grin. "See, I could do it!"

Rather than looking properly impressed, Pathik stared at Zuko as if he were a rabid catwolf. What was that about? Pathik shook his head and granted Zuko another smile, much larger than the last. "I apologize for underestimating you, young man. I should have known better than to discredit the willpower of a firebender, no matter how turbulent his soul may be."

"Exactly- Wait-" Zuko's jaw dropped and there was no hope of trying to cover it up. "You- You know I'm a firebender? But- why are you helping me? If you were friends with the airbenders, we're enemies!"

Pathik's eyes widened in equal surprise. "Just as I could sense your inner turmoil, I could sense your inner fire. I am a teacher to all who are open to learning. The actions of your kin are not your own. In fact, I believe my airbender friends would be just as welcoming of you as I am."

The wind swirled around them and made the fire flicker. Zuko wanted to argue. The airbenders were his enemy! Why would they welcome him? But Avatar Yangchen had not been Princess Akari's enemy. Airbenders had not always been enemies of the Fire Nation...

"Our next chakra falls over our hearts, and represents our love. The airbenders would welcome you, young firebender, because they are well represented by the air chakra. They were loving, forgiving people. I hope you can feel the love of these old temples and let it guide you through the grief blocking your air chakra. What causes your grief, young one?"

Mother used to hug him so tightly he could hardly breathe, equally from his laughter and the strength of her embrace. As Zuko cried about his latest failed firebending lesson, Mother gently brushed his hair and soothed his sorrows. A mask covered Mother's face as she dutifully recited the answering lines to Zuko's Blue Spirit monologue. The sun warmed Zuko's back, as Mother's presence warmed his side where he pressed against her when they fed the turtleducks. Waves swelled and crashed against them as Mother helped Zuko stay above the strong ocean waters.

Shaking hands pulled Zuko upright and out of his slumber. Her voice wavered as she held him tight. "Everything I've done, I've done to protect you." Desperation filled her eyes. "Remember this Zuko—no matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." She stepped back with these final words of advice, then walked away.

She was gone.

Distant, hazy memories of a warm smile surfaced. Gentle hands helped Zuko build a sandcastle. A kind voice reassured Zuko. Even before Lu Ten was gone, he had not been home for so long. Zuko could barely remember the days Lu Ten wasn't abroad, fighting in the war, but he would never forget how welcome and wanted Lu Ten made him feel.

Zuko swallowed around the emotion building in his throat. Before he could properly begin to mourn the loss of his cousin, his mother had disappeared without a trace. There had been no room to miss either Lu Ten or Mother. As soon as Father was crowned, Zuko had been thrust into intense lessons as the new heir to the throne.

Lu Ten was only spoken about in passing whispers until Uncle returned, but even then Zuko did not want to burden Uncle with his own sorrow when Uncle was the one hurting the most. No one spoke about Mother, except Azula when she was taunting Zuko for missing her.

For so long, Zuko pushed the pain and the heartbreak aside. Now that he had to address it, the grief was overwhelming.

"You have lost, but been unable to process your loss." Pathik's voice swirled around Lu Ten's playful laughter and Mother's amused smile. "The pain you feel is one born of love, let it wash through you, and then let it go. Even as we let go of our grief, the love always remains. But we cannot dwell forever on love lost. We must remember to embrace the love we still have with us in the present."

Zuko wiped the threatening tears from his eye and frowned at Pathik. "But I haven't earned Father's love back. I can't embrace what I haven't earned back yet. And I love Azula, I do, but loving her is hard sometimes. And the way she shows her love could never replace Mother or Lu Ten!"

Pathik turned his head away from Zuko and stared off at something in the distance. The creek bubbled around them as the fire crackled in the breeze. Slowly, Pathik faced Zuko again with a strange smile.

"And what of your Uncle's love?"

Tears threatened to return. What _of_ Uncle's love? Zuko knew that on some level Uncle loved him. He must, to follow Zuko on his quest for the Avatar, and to find the patience to deal with Zuko's shortcomings. But embracing Uncle's love would make him weak. No, he couldn't do that, but Pathik wouldn't let them continue till Zuko did.

Zuko forced a laugh and a smile. "Of course, you're right! Yes, I embrace Uncle's love. Now my air chakra is open, and we can move on to the next one!"

Why did Pathik look so sad?

"The sound chakra lies in our throat. It represents truth and is hindered by lies. To unlock this chakra, you must face the lies about yourself and the world around you."

Zuko crossed his arms. "I don't get why you've been making such a big deal about this chakra. It can't be blocked that bad! I don't tell that many lies. I suck at lying!"

Guru Pathik's expression remained subdued, and Zuko didn't know what to make of that.

"The most dangerous lies are ones that pose as truth. Young firebender, you are so entrenched in falsehoods that you can not see the truths of the world or of yourself."

Did Zuko really go through all this effort for nothing? Well, Guru Pathik had warned him that opening all his chakra in a night was impossible... But Zuko couldn't give up here. If he could just find these lies, then they could keep going!

"I was able to get through all the other chakra even when you doubted me, why is this one any different? Just tell me what truths I'm wrong about and I'll accept it!"

Pathik shook his head. "Tell me, young firebender, where is the volcano at Chup Island?"

Zuko was fairly decent at geography. Chup Island was a small island with a massive lake right in the middle of it. It was a great fishing location and suitable for growing seasonal crops, but not many people lived there. Whether there was a volcano on the island or not, Zuko honestly couldn't remember.

"I... Would guess wherever the mountain is?"

"A fair guess, but you would be incorrect," Pathik said with a gentle smile. "You could sail into the center of Chup Island's lake and still never see its volcano. Do you know why?"

Of course, how could Zuko be so dumb as to forget the implication of Chup Island's ring of land. He used to live in a caldera after all. "Because the volcano is the whole island!"

"Indeed!" Pathik clapped his hands together. "Now, imagine for a moment you were born of the Earth Kingdom or Water Tribes. Do you think they would have the knowledge to recognize Chup Island as a volcano?"

Zuko's immediate reaction was to disparage the other nations' lack of proper education, but then he paused to actually think. While the Fire Nation was rife with volcanoes, Zuko doubted there were any at the poles. Why would they need to learn about something they would never encounter? If anything, they probably knew way more about snow and ice than Zuko could imagine.

"Probably not..."

Pathik nodded and gestured broadly at Zuko. "Your sound chakra is currently an island with a hidden volcano. Should we rupture that volcano to discover it, or should we give you the time to learn and discover it on your own?"

Triggering a volcanic eruption was an inconceivable crime. If Pathik truly believed the result of Zuko forcing his way through this chakra would be so catastrophic... Zuko's shoulders slumped. Perhaps this could be his first step to seeing truths: accepting he had reached his limit for now. This wasn't giving up, but a strategic retreat until Zuko was better equipped to win!

"Can you at least tell me about the last two chakra, so I can try facing them on my own once I find my volcano?"

"At our forehead is the light chakra, which grants us insight. Once you discover your truths, I believe dispelling the illusions that block your light chakra will be your easiest task yet." Pathik smiled encouragingly. His demeanor suddenly shifted to one of a master. "The final chakra, at the crown of the head, grants those who can let go of earthly attachments access to pure cosmic energy. Such an achievement is not for everyone, and I believe you will find understanding the spirits easier even without opening your thought chakra."

It was impossible for Zuko to let go of his earthly attachments. Once he found the Avatar, he would resume his place as the Crown Prince. A crown prince had to be attached to his people and their earthly ways. It was reassuring to know Zuko would not have to struggle with such a decision to figure out Princess Akari's legacy.

Even though tonight not granted Zuko the final solution to understanding his fragmented dreams, he was still one step closer. Frustrated and emotionally exhausted he may be, Zuko knew he had not wasted his time.

His legs trembled after sitting in the same position for so long as Zuko stood and bowed deeply to his teacher.

"Thank you for your guidance, Guru Pathik. I will keep your lessons in mind through my travels. As I search for the Avatar, I'll also seek the knowledge to find the volcano hiding in my sound chakra."

Pathik gracefully stood and bowed just as deeply in return. "Thank you for being such an engaging student, young firebender. I will ask the spirits to be kind to you in your quest." He broke out into a wide grin. "And should the Avatar arrive here before you find them, I'll be sure to pass on that you're looking for them."

Zuko rolled his eye and thanked Pathik once more. His legs were still unsteady, but Zuko forced himself forward. Exhaustion weighed down every step to the edge of the courtyard. His whole body ached.

"Allow me to accompany you back to your camp," Pathik said, coming up to Zuko's side and placing a steadying hand on his arm.

As Zuko shook Pathik off and began to shout his refusal, his knee buckled. It was only Pathik's strong grip that prevented Zuko from sprawling on the ground. Zuko did not try to refuse the man's assistance a second time.

The biting mountain winds whipped around them as they slowly made their way back to camp. It sent shivers wracking through Zuko's heavy limbs. Physical exhaustion was something Zuko knew all too well, but this went further. It seeped into his bones and through his veins, settled in his chest as an invisible weight.

"Your spirit just went through the equivalent of climbing a mountain with your hands bound," Pathik said, voice soft as he led Zuko to the tent. "When you accepted my help back to your camp, you exercised the wisdom of weighing your limits against your pride. I advise you to use the same wisdom should you find your spirit in need of help."

With those parting words, Pathik left Zuko at the entrance to the tent. The young prince took a steadying breath. Climbing a mountain with bound hands was an apt description for his weariness. He faced the worst of himself and feelings long buried, with nothing to show for it but one more task for him to struggle to accomplish. No matter, though, Zuko's spirit may be tired now, but he would be able to face everything anew come morning.

Zuko returned to his bedroll, eager to burrow under his layers of blankets to fend off his cold exhaustion, but a soft voice filled the quiet of the dark tent and made him freeze in place.

"That was a long walk tonight, Prince Zuko," Uncle said. His voice was strong, without any indication of interrupted sleep. How long had he been lying in wait for Zuko's return? "Is everything alright?"

The words 'I'm fine' died in Zuko's throat. He had to try being more truthful if he hoped to find the hidden volcano of his lies. Flashes of fire, Azula's hurt expression, Mother's smile, and Lu Ten's laughter came to mind. The freshly resurfaced memories were the cause for Zuko's weary spirit, surely. Pathik advised Zuko to accept help, but what could Uncle possibly do?

"I had a nightmare," Zuko mumbled as he wrapped himself in his blankets. It was the closest to the truth he could get. "Sorry to wake you, Uncle."

The darkness beside Zuko shifted and spread as Uncle lifted the edge of his blanket. "I know you're likely too old to find comfort in your old uncle's embrace after bad dreams, but I always found the presence of loved ones best combats the chill of night terrors."

Zuko was definitely too old to curl up against Uncle. Nevertheless, if only for tonight, he wasn't going to let what he should do stop him from what he wanted. Thankful for the cover of the night to conceal his flushed face, Zuko rolled over to Uncle and hesitantly rested his head near Uncle's chest.

A quick inhale almost had Zuko retreating, but then Uncle wrapped his blanket and arm around Zuko's shoulder and pulled him closer. The remaining chill of the mountain faded under Uncle's encircling warmth.

"Good night, Nephew," he whispered in Zuko's good ear.

The weight of Zuko's tired spirit felt a little lighter as he closed his eye, the promise of sleep already dragging him to the realm of dreams. "Good night, Uncle."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pathik: im qualified for spiritual enlightenment... this kid needs therapy
> 
> WHEW ngl this chapter is one of the first scenes i vividly pictured while planning out this series and gosh it hurt in the best way every step of the way
> 
> Up Next: a collection of different key events as zuko figures out what to do next
> 
> HOPEFULLY will be back next wednesday with the start of the next part. we shall see we shall see...
> 
> hmu on twitter @starofjems or tumblr @redriot in the meantime ;3


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